Thursday, March 31, 2011

TRAP THEM

Not that one band with the loud music and "cool" attitude no I am referring to cornering a female and then impregnating her in order to have a new generation of Buffalo sports fans.  Of course I am not advocating having new Bills fans out of wedlock that is what Jets fans or god forbid PATRIOTS fans do.  No we Bills fans are of a higher calling and breeding stock we marry our ladies before planting the seeds of tomorrow.  Is that creepy?  To sit and think about reproducing just to increase the Marv Levy army?  If you agree that breeding to fill out the season ticket rolls of Ralph Wilson Stadium is one of your main duties in life then this will be right up your sick and twisted little alley.  Losing is the legacy I will pass onto my progeny and this is our lifestyle go BILLS!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Am I an animal hoarder?

On a lighter note my beautiful wife sent me this article yesterday about a proposed animal hoarding law which caused me to have an existential crisis of sorts.    Basically for people who do not like to read Illinois lawmakers are proposing a law that would define someone who owns more than six companion animals as an "animal hoarder"  My wife and I are the proud owners of thirteen animals: two stray cats, a cockatiel, and ten turtles many of them rescue turtles.  I fully agree that animal hoarding is problematic but then I thought seven is not that many pets after all I have thirteen in a two bedroom apartment.  This law is problematic for two reasons: (1) what right does the legislature have to just arbitarily tell someone how many cats they can have absent a threat to public health and (2) in theory I can kill most animals for food even boil them alive but it is problematic to take in six or more abused animals this seems to be ridiculous right?  Then the crisis started and I was faced with the abyss of determining whether or not I was an unrepetant animal hoarder.  I went back and forth in my mind between being a mentally ill hoarder and a vegan defense attorney animals rights crusader who takes in the huddled masses of abused animals.  After hours of soul searching I came up with the following theory if you have more animals than you can handle both humanely and hygenically then you are a hoarder and this should be illegal.  Having ten turtles is far different than having ten cats or ten dogs also I decided not to move to Illinois and push my luck.  However, if you do not hear from me for several months it is possible that I have been arrested as a prisoner of conscious for refusing to obey a new Ohio animal hoarding law.  Power to the vegans!  I will not surrender my rescue animals until you surrender your hamburger.

Breaking my silence on the King hearings

I have been stewing for several weeks on the Congressional Hearing being lead by the gentleman Mr. King from Long Island and I can no longer remain silent. I am deeply offended and concerned by such proceedings and wonder what the real purpose is and what can possibly come out of these hearings that will be productive. Mr. King claims that he will not cower to the forces of political correctness but when did treating any group of citizens with respect become political correctness. Holding domestic hearings to address the concern of home-grown jihadists is both pointless and unproductive. You might be thinking but the threat of home grown terrorism is real and tangible that is correct but I would ask you this question what is the purpose of Homeland Security? Allegedly the purpose and mission of The Department of Homeland Security according to their website is "[t]he Department's mission is to ensure a homeland that is safe, secure, and resilient against terrorism and other hazards"  We the taxpayers and citizens of America have a government Agency responsible for investigating, monitoring and preventing domestic threats and it is called the Department of Homeland Security.  We do not need a big brother police state where fear and paranoia cause neighbors to begin spying on each other. Then I come back to my earlier question and expand on the thought we have been told by our government that we need to trust DHS and that they will save us from internal threats so then why does Mr. King feel that he needs to additionally educate and inform us about the threat of domestic terrorism the answer is simple Mr. King either on purpose or inadvertently is sowing the seeds and climate of fear and paranoia. More specifically a fear and paranoia regarding Islam and Muslims and vague shadowy insinuations about some vast web of danger. If Mr. King was interested in informing America about domestic threats through public hearings then why did Mr. King not expand the scope of his hearing to include the vast penumbra of domestic threats to include: street gangs, white supremacy, and vast number of other scattered unaffiliated psychopaths. No Mr. King showed his true colors by only focusing like a laser of intolerance on one group of Americans: THE MUSLIMS. The last terrorist attack on American soil involving an airplane crashing into a Federal Building was not a Muslim it was an anti-government Caucasian Atheist who hated immigrants, organized religion, the IRS and the government crashed his small plane into an IRS building in Austin, Texas. Also the tragedy in Tucson where a Caucasian Atheist murdered scores of innocent people including a Federal Judge and seriously injured a sitting Congresswoman.  Finally, the case of the White Supremacist in Oregon who planned to blow up a bomb at a MLK, Jr. day celebration with the express purpose of killing as many people as possible.  None of these terrorists were Muslims so then why not extend the hearings to include disgruntled Caucasian males of undetermined faith? Shame on you Mr. King shame on you for bringing more negative press to a hard-working faith community for the express purpose of cheap political theater. Honestly, if you wanted to warn Americans your hearings would have been more inclusive more informative and not a doom and gloom scare session to trump up the specter of an Islamic boogeyman lurking under Uncle Sam's bed. America has government agencies that monitor domestic threats we do not need domestic show trials that ultimately drag America's overwhelming majority of peace loving and patriotic Muslims into the slime through guilt by association with a handful of murders, thugs and malcontent psychopaths.  I have no problem with inquires into radicalization within the U.S. Islamic community and I realize that there are Muslims in this Country who are spreading a gospel of hate and destruction but these people will not be thwarted or foiled in their diabolical plans by show hearings led by a person who has shown that he is no friend to Muslims.  Extremism in the American Islamic community is a problem that can only be addressed with the open and honest engagement of the American Islamic community it is our problem and we need to address it; however, if Muslims are demonized, marginalized and disenfranchised then cooperation will be hard to come by.  We have law enforcement and other government agencies that keep all American citizens safe from harm including terrorism but if a particular group is thrust to the margin and mistreated they will be reluctant if not unwilling to come forward and aid law enforcement.  Muslims in America deserve respect and we deserve better than the useless preening of these show hearings.  Mr. King engage us as Americans as brothers and sisters we will embrace you in the same manner.  This Country is the greatest Country on Earth because we learned to overcome our differences be it sex, religion, skin color and the Muslims are committed to making this Country great.  Approach us with dignity and respect and we will continue to address the criminal and extremist elements in our midst, but if we marginalized and demonized we will turn inward and avoid being harmed this is basic and this is human.  I finish with the speech by Congressman Ellis do not live with hate in your heart or the darkness will consume you.